Transcription
Interview 2: Asma (Aziza)
Navipa (interviewer): OK, it's Friday, March 7th, 11:10 AM. This is the second interview. OK. So first question, tell me about your childhood? Where did you grow up? School? Friends? Society.
Asma: Our childhood was in Chandpur. From there I completed my intermediates—like 12th grade. After finish, I’ll be back to Dhaka city. Then I take the university. My university name is Titumil Government University—meaning it is an official university. Over there I finished my honors in management and after that I getting married. Then after that—you know after two and half years I come this country.
Navipa: You came here. Okay, so when you came here, what was it like? Were you scared? Excited?
Asma: Okay, yes, this is the big thing. When I came this country, I came here 2005, the September—September 30. It was new. Everything is for me new. New adventure. New culture. I don't know. I'm really scared— I’m so much cry its like one and a half month. I miss my parents. That time I don't have phone. That time I have land phone. Even when I was sick and my child came in that three months— (baby interrupting).
Navipa: It's okay.
Asma: Three months after I getting pregnant and that time, my husband and one time showed that at the hospital while the hospital and over there, I doesn't know anything. I don't speak well to English. Uh–even I look up people, people what they gonna do. I ask them, I tried to, you know, my voice I don't know anything then. That time I am is scared. So much is scary. And even my husband worried, my sister worry, uh, in a where I am. Is everything okay in the hospital. Then Allhamdullilah after—after that I came back alone in the four o'clock and they're going to call in the land phone. Everything is okay, is yes, everything this is the first time. I'm going the hospital. This is my new experience.
Navipa: So you didn't know English, you had to learn.
Asma: Right.
Navipa: Was that hard?
Asma: No. No, because—
Navipa: You can continue its okay.
Asma: Okay. um yeah, that time uh first of all, I six-month, I getting the English— is very proper. I don't know about the pronoun. I don't know about the, you know, uh is what is the call name? It's the grammar, right? You have a grammar problem. I understand what they say, but I explain one two three word and six months after I had to easily, I talked to people, they understand them. I realized—I watching TV that time. My husband told me all the time that you have to be citizen—if you want to get citizenship then watch TV news. Watch the news that then you getting the English proper way they speak to them.
Navipa: Yeah, that's how all of my—all of the people I'm talking about how they learned it too. Um so now that you're in America, do you like living in Brooklyn or do you want to go home all the time?
Asma: Some of them I miss my country, really I tell you. Right now, you know, I miss it, my country. Sometime I wish I had to go back because this country uh I don't have any my culture—now is culture everything fine, but it is my culture and different way. I wish it every time and because now it's Ramadan time, right, you know, I misses my family. Over there is my family all people going on the table. We're gonna eat um, you know, Iftar, right? So this country only my children, my husband, but I have another family. It's my cousin, my aunt, my mom's side. My husband's side. Yeah, we miss.
Navipa:
Asma: Yeah. But I don't move yet, but I don't plan, but I just tell my experience what I feel right now. Navipa: Yeah, you miss. I miss it too and I’ve lived here my whole life.
Asma: Yeah, you were born there. Do you remmeber that?
Navipa: I—uh—no I remember like one or two, like really weird memories, not really. I came here when I was like two, three.
Asma: Yeah, I saw. Sneha, never mind, I saw you and your mommy that time Waffee going, uh I think it's a Waffe going like another 3-K or Pre-K. Another school, he's—he don't get this school because I don't get seat yet. When I stand my building, I see that Sneha and your mommy came to walk. I thought this is Bengali or Pakistani. Then I realized maybe you're Bengali.
Navipa: When you came here, September 2005 that's when I was born, back home over there. Yeah. So describe your relationship with your family, you know, are you guys close, your extended family, but then also your kids and who you— your sister over here. What is that like?
Asma: So close.
Navipa: So close.
Asma: So close, because we talk every day. Every day sometimes day— two, three times we gonna talk each other. We are close. She invite to me. I invite her—them. And I have to sometime over there overnight stay. Even my aunt here too. I have cousin— two half cousin. They also sometimes call me. I call them. Yeah, we have good relationship with family. And my close family even my my children. You know, three of children, Alhamdullilah. They talk to— they share with me everything, they don't hide anything Alhamdullilah. Whatever they outside, in the school, train, bus, what happened—right away they tell me.
Navipa: Okay. So now I'm gonna ask you, what does it feel like to be a mother, you know?
Asma: Ohh. I'm happiness that moment because I feel when my first boy by born in the world, I feel I'm crying my self, happiness, crying, and that time I miss so my mother so much I miss my mother, then I feel my mother away that my mother carry in to me like that right now, what I carry to my son. So I'm happiness. I am three of my mother children. I'm happy, so much happy.
Navipa: The first time is very—
Asma: Very excited. Right, first– first mother is I don't tell you what what I feel it. When Waffee said to me is “mommy” is after I think 15 month or two months after— two years after he— See, you hear that? My other daughter—a little one all the time call “Mommy, Mommy”. Yes, I'm happy.
Navipa: Yeah, the first one. Mommy? Um, from our Bangladeshi culture, what do you teach your children about that? What part of it?
Asma: Yes, I teach my children every time when is the my culture over there is New Year. Right, “Shubor Noburu”, right? I teach my son and my daughter, what does “Shubor Noburu” meaning. Is like my new happy year, new—new thing. Because over what they are a lot of, a lot of lot of culture, I don't explain. This country, I don't see that time we are celebrated with the family and friend. Yeah, I teaching.
Navipa: Yeah. It's important to teach them. Otherwise they forget.
Asma: Right, they forget. And you know what Waffee uh this year going to Bangladesh and he wanted to be going again! He tell me last time he wanted to every year going Bangladesh. He miss over there everything. First of all, he don't want to go. He said “No, why I have to—” Yeah, “why are you— I cut his ticket. He said he don't want to go. He want to alone. He had to go. he don't want to come with me. And he come with me after one week over the other he realize what is that! Now he tell me every year he want to go there. He enjoyed with my family—the father's side family, not about so much, but so far cousins, his father's side, he's enjoyed.
Navipa: Me too there, it's like everyone—
Asma: And he said—Also he tell me about the halal food. Everywhere is halal food—no one complain!
Navipa: Everywhere—you dont have to worry.
Asma: He didn't worry about the food every time. Whatever he want—he tell me he order it. Right. That's what I'm happy my children, but Manha is so-so.
Navipa: It takes time I didn't like it too. the last few times I went I loved it so much. So what you worked here and America for a little bit of time with my mom, what was that like?
Asma: So, first of all, I work with my best friend, it is Dilruba Begum. Yeah she is my really first is the Brooklyn in my first best friend. And I first of all he—she going, sorry, she going that one of grocery store and I tell her about—so he she said, uh, okay, uh, you can come my store, talk to manager, maybe they hire. Uh than I going over there, uh, I don't remember that day that come I have a you know second child and she age was I thinking she getting kindergarten, she getting five years old, I think yes. So that time I really looking for a job finally, I get that that's my best friend is store. And over there, I think I getting is four month or five month after uh, you know, because that job easy for me, but I don't know why no manager like me. They say no more,—they don't need to any employee right now they business is very slow. Say they say, I don't go but they. So after this two—one year, I struggle. I have to looking for new job new job. I couldn't find it. And one of that—one of also mine and, you know, best friend telling me about that home care service. You can take the certificate, you can apply for, you know, different kind of company. They also hire you. So—the my friend, you know, my friend tell me about—then I going where I get my certificate, I have to one week getting the class, then I get the home care certificate. Then and it is like a two month after I get my job you know, finally job. I start 2016 or 17, 17, sorry. 2017 to start and I finishing its Corona is like 2022— sorry, 2020. Then after Corona, then where one year I have to work also, just one year—when I getting pregnant, I get the having a hard I stop working.
Navipa: Yeah. So you worked for a long time then?
Asma: Yes. Yes. I worked a long time. I'm happy that I'm working. I'm happy now is I'm home. I take care of my children, some of them. I'm happy or not. How can I explain but is outside, I feel good when as I working. I working. I feel good.
Navipa: It feels good—to work, make your own money.
Asma: Yeah, right, yeah. Now is I take a time with my family, you know, I take care I have three of children, husband, I cooking, cleaning, shopping. To me, right. But woman is not easy. It outside working and come to home, take care family is not easy. It's not easy.
Navipa: Especially when you have babies—
Asma: Babies have very hard, very hard.
Navipa: You still did it. You still managed to do that. still. Um so next is about community. So here we have Church Avenue, New Kirk, Plaza, Jackson Heights. Do you like it? Do you like it's good—
Asma: Yes absolutely, I like it—that community over there when I going, I feel there another Bangladesh. I feel it. Yeah, I like it.
Navipa: Okay. And so your friend group, you know, my mom, the other two, how do you like them? Have they changed your life? Are you really close with them?
Asma: Yes. When I—they changed my life because absolutely I'm gonna tell about that my friend, best friend, absolutely. First of all, first me to my best, then second meet my best friend, uh, what is the Showun? Showun Bhabi. Thirdly, is my best friend is Mitu Vabi—because I have three of best we meet in the school, the PS 99. We talk each other a lot of things. We—we feel good. We feel good. We share a lot of things. They explain. We feel good.
Navipa: And it's not just you guys. Your kids also are know each other.
Asma: Yes. Right, right.
Navipa: Older kids, younger kids. Husbands.
Asma: Husband know, right. We are gathering. This is family friend. We are very close to family friends. We are—we keep our cultural with my family friend. You know, I have family, but is family friend is the different way.
Navipa: It is the different way. Okay, so, my last question is, anything from your life, you know, is there anything you wish you could change, just a little bit? If you could go back and maybe do this, maybe change that, just a little anything?
Asma: I, you know, right now, I don't change anything, but I wish it—my mind wish it, you know, I have to every year going my country. Really. This is—this is I want to be change. Every year.
Navipa: To see people see—yeah. Okay, well, that's—
Asma: Now is I wish my best of luck children. How can I do—
Navipa: You have a long time.
Asma: Right.
Navipa: She has a long time.
Asma: Thats Manha say all the time. How can take her everything? Everything? That time you getting by day by old. I say yeah—
Navipa: She’s gonna keep you busy.
Asma: Right. Yeah. That's true.
Navipa: That's it. Yeah, thank you.
Asma: You're welcome.
